Break
by Paprika30
Summary: Break away from what you know. Don't look back. Take a risk. TrevorCasey
1. Breaking Molds

Disclaimer: Neither "Life With Derek" nor "The Clash" are mine.

Author's note: I've never written a story in this category before, but this plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone. Also, I normally don't include lyrics in my stories, but I think that this one will contain quite a few. Please read them, they fit- I swear it. On a different note, I lead a busy life. Please don't be mad if I don't update on a regular basis. I do the best I can.

Chapter 1: Breaking Molds

Casey could not believe her horrible luck. There were some wonderful people in the world content with a single status. Casey was not one of them. She was currently single, and she found herself drooling over any guy who crossed her path. Unfortunately, they all had a girl attached to them. Even Derek, womanizer extraordinaire, had slowed the pace by going steady with Kyndra. And Casey was single.

She had always prided herself in not being dependent on a guy for happiness, but now she seemed to be proving herself wrong. Breaking up with Sam had been no big deal really; he had been more of a close friend toward the end of the relationship. It wasn't like she didn't miss him- she did- but what she really missed about him was his physical presence. She'd long ago accepted that she and Sam were not romantically compatible, but she missed being held against his chest.

But for some reason she didn't want the crisp plaid button-ups and shell necklaces anymore.

In her mind, Sam had been absolutely perfect. He was kind, considerate, cute, and funny. So why hadn't it worked? It should have worked! Everything was great, but then something changed. Maybe it had been her.

Groaning, Casey switched on her stereo. She needed soothing music, something slow but upbeat. She was running her thumb over her CD collection, trying to decide what would be best, when she heard it. She had left "Super Black Market Clash" in the CD player. She'd been so stupid to buy that CD, just because her punk rock book had told her that The Clash were basically a manifestation of punk music. Maybe that wasn't the reason though, maybe it was because of Trevor.

Trevor- she would forever link this music to Trevor. Not just because of the bet, but also because of the lyrics. They were political and risky, and that made Casey think about Trevor and his dreams of becoming a lawyer, about his unique clothing choice. Yes, there were plenty of other people who dressed like that, but not in Casey's social sphere.

Being social had always been important to Casey. She wanted to be seen in the right places with the right people at the right times. But the phone was ringing on the desk right next to Casey and she didn't answer. Normally she and Derek would race for the phone, neither wanting the other to pick up one of their calls. Today, however, she didn't see a point to it. It would be Kyndra, just like it had been the last seven times the phone had rang.

Casey walked slowly to her doorway and listened.

"Did your signal die again?" Derek was asking.

And that made eight. Casey flopped down on her bed, trying to puzzle things out. She felt lonely, but there was no reason for that feeling. She would write poetry, but the music was distracting her. Slowing down her thoughts for a moment, Casey listened to the lyrics in hope of finding comfort.

_Clang, clang, go the jail guitar doors _

_Bang, bang, go the boots on the floor _

_Cry, cry, for your lonely mother's son _

_Clang, clang, go the jail guitar doors_

The music was not helping- at all. Casey got up to turn it off when she heard someone pounding on her door. "What do you want?" she yelled irritably.

Derek threw open the door. "Emily's on the phone for you. Keep it under ten minutes or I'll rip the phone out of the wall. I have to call Kyndra back."

Casey shook her head and said that she would. It was getting ridiculous how Derek was fawning over Kyndra. He'd deny it, of course, but she had him wrapped around her little finger. It made a nice change.

"Hello?" Casey took the phone away from Derek.

"Casey, you'll never believe what just happened!"

"What?"

"Trevor asked me out. It was really weird and-"

Casey was tuning Emily out. So he finally did it. Feigning surprise, she asked Emily, "So, what did you say?"

Emily was silent for a long while. "Casey, I told him no, and I feel awful about it." Her words were all coming out in a jumble as she continued, "I know what it's like to have that happen to you and I can't believe I did it. I didn't want to hurt him but I just feel so terrible."

She sounded like she was on the verge of tears, but Casey smiled despite herself as she sat at her desk. Adopting a soothing tone, she responded sympathetically. "It's all right, Em, you did the right thing. It would be worse if you told him yes but didn't like him."

"That's the thing… I'm not sure if I like him."

The smile disappeared from Casey's face. "Huh?"

Emily sighed, "I've sort of had a thing for him for a while, but I've always liked Derek more. But now that Trevor asked me, I'm just so confused. Part of me wanted to say yes, but the other part told me that we were too different. I mean, we're so… different."

"Well, you did what you thought best, Em, and there's nothing wrong with that," Casey replied, hoping that- hoping that what? That Emily wouldn't change her mind? Why would she hope that?

"Yeah, I guess you're right Casey, it's just that-" she broke off as she searched for words.

At that moment, Casey saw Derek in the doorway, pantomiming hanging up the phone and tapping his watch impatiently. It hadn't been ten minutes yet, but it was a convenient excuse to hang up. "Em, I'm really sorry, but I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow at school though, okay?"

"Alright," Emily said, and to Casey's horror she thought that Emily was sniffling. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye," Casey said as she hung up the phone.

She lobbed the phone at Derek, oblivious to the exaggerated motions he made in lunging for the phone and his taunting comment of, "With an arm like that, I'm surprised they let you play tee-ball!" Surprised when Casey made no reply, Derek closed the door as he dialed Kyndra's phone number. He couldn't remember the last time he knew a girl's phone number by heart.

After Derek left, Casey flopped back down on her bed and closed her eyes. She felt horrible, probably even more so that Emily. And with just cause, too. He liked her, she liked him, and Casey was happy that they weren't together? Trevor was a great guy and he deserved to be happy, and Emily was her best friend. Why shouldn't Casey want them to be happy together? _Because you're jealous, that's why _said a small voice in the back of her head.

Casey shook her head violently. That couldn't be it, she didn't like Trevor. Like Emily had said, they were too different. No one so completely opposite could ever occupy her heart. At least, not until now. Trevor had somehow managed to find the way in.

_My mind don't need it but my body do _

_A little bit of loving and attention for you _

_Although we're only strangers _

_They don't need to know_

_I gotta come clean, I gotta come clean _

_Ooh, I got a crush on you _

She laughed somewhat bitterly. No, she really didn't need it, but she wanted it. She wanted strong arms around her, was that so wrong? Casey answered her own question. Yes, it was wrong if your best friend liked the same guy that you did.

It was weird to have this conflict. Before the only guy that Emily liked (that Casey had known about) was Derek, and Casey was more than happy to let Emily have him. Emily also hadn't liked Sam. But now that her best friend liked the same guy that she did, things were different. Emily didn't know that Casey really liked Trevor, because Casey had let that rumor go. She'd even believed that she didn't like Trevor herself. Now she realized that she did like Trevor, but where did that put her? On one hand, she'd be happy but not be loyal to Emily, and on the other hand she'd be miserable when she saw Emily and Trevor together. High school sucked; there were no two ways about it.

But who was to say that if Casey went after Trevor she would get him? He liked Emily, and Casey was just a friend. She wasn't really even a close friend; they hadn't spoken much after the bet. Who was to say that he would even notice her?

Something had to be done, Casey decided, something dramatic. The only problem was the line between grabbing his attention and looking way too eager. It was a thin line, and Casey couldn't afford to make a mistake.

Where did you draw that line with a guy like Trevor? She was fairly experienced with guys, but not one of them had worn eyeshadow. This would be difficult.

Clothes would be important… that is, if she did this. She still wasn't sure, but it wouldn't hurt to be prepared. Casey carefully chose a black and red plaid miniskirt and paired it with a black sweater. She threw her handcuff earrings onto the heap and put black sequined ballet flats next to the clothes. Taking a deep breath, she took a pink shirt off of its hanger and laid it next to brown dress pants, tiny pearl earrings, and pink sandals. She stared at the two outfits and shook her head. Tomorrow was a new day.

Casey got ready for bed and slipped under the covers. To her delight, her mind was put to rest as she quickly fell asleep.

* * *

When Casey woke up the next morning, her eyes immediately fell on her two outfits. Groaning, she almost pulled the covers right back over her head, but changed her mind and decided on a shower. Showers were easy; all she had to worry about was whether to use coconut or strawberry shampoo. If only everything were that easy. 

After showering, Casey stepped into her robe and walked back into her bedroom. She looked at the two outfits again. It was funny- she hadn't put this much effort or thought into her appearance since her first day at the new school.

Biting her lip anxiously, Casey finally decided. It was her life to screw up or let be as she wished. She had to decide sooner or later, and now she was choosing the risky path. Life was short, and she intended to live hers with no regrets. Hopefully this wouldn't be something she'd regret.

She pulled on the clothes and snapped on the earrings. Then came the hair and makeup- she hadn't planned that out! Deciding on leaving her hair smooth, she pulled it out of her face with a red headband and dried it straight. For makeup she went heavy with the eyeliner on the upper lid and put some on the lower, applied mascara, and put a small line of red eyeshadow above the eyeliner.

It was far more intense than what she'd normally wear, but paled in comparison to what she'd worn while trying to win the bet. Overall, Casey thought that it was well balanced and just about right.

She took one last look in the mirror and a deep breath before exiting her room and heading toward the kitchen for breakfast.

What followed was exactly what she had expected. Edwin choked on cereal, George raised an eyebrow, Lizzie looked at Casey with questioning eyes, Marti didn't pay attention, and Nora said, "Honey, I thought we moved out of the punk phase?" Thank God that Derek was holed up in his room, probably on the phone, and not downstairs.

Casey chose not to answer as she began to butter a muffin.

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me, honey," Nora tried again, glancing over at George for support.

"Oh-oh yeah, whatever you want to do," he echoed.

"Look what crawled up out of the grave. Watch out, Ed, it's a zombie!" Derek yelled, and milk came out of Edwin's nose as he laughed.

"Eww," Casey said, turning her head away from the sight, only to look straight into her mother's concerned eyes. It was going to be a long day.

She hoped it was worth it. Maybe it would slow down once she got to school.

_I wanna get serious right away _

_1-2, I got a crush on you _

_What you doin' today or any other day? _

_1-2, I got a crush on you_

_Just one look and I go insane _

_1-2, I got a crush on you _


	2. Breaking Ties

Disclaimer: Neither "Life With Derek" nor "Big Audio Dynamite II" are mine. 

Author's Note: Well, it hasn't been quite two months, but it's still a rather long wait. It was going to be a longer wait than this, but I happened to pop in a Clash CD while I was doing my homework. By the way, the song from the last chapter was "1-2 Crush on You" and this chapter's song is "Innocent Child."

Chapter 2: Breaking Ties

After what seemed to be a lifetime of interrogations, Casey was at school. She thanked the good Lord for Kyndra- she was the only reason that Derek didn't follow Casey all the way down the hallway making snide comments. A faint smile crossed Casey's lips as she saw it, like an oasis in the desert, her locker seemed to be a sanctuary. Cutting through the crowd, Casey made a beeline for her locker and almost knocked Emily over when she got there.

Emily's eyes were slightly puffy, but any comment she was about to make died as she looked at Casey. "Case, what did you do? It's not another bet, is it?"

"Umm…" Casey, for once in her life, was at a loss for words. Was there no safe place she could go?

"It is, isn't it?"

"I just thought I'd experiment today…" Casey trailed off, hoping that it would make a satisfactory answer.

Either the response was good enough or Emily was distraught enough, but she let it go. "I was thinking, Casey, and I think I might ask Trevor out. After all, he's a nice guy, and Derek hasn't shown any interest in me."

"I wouldn't say he hasn't shown interest," Casey replied, speaking as quickly as she thought. "The other day I heard Derek telling Edwin that Kyndra didn't match up to you. His exact words, 'Emily was great, she still is.'" That's exactly what he said, do you think that he likes you?"

Who was Casey kidding? She was a _horrible _liar. Her only hope was if Emily was still obsessed enough to not notice. Then again, if Emily had given Sheldon a try, why wouldn't she give Derek a second try?

"He said that?" Emily asked, though it sounded more like a statement that a question.

Trying to ignore the skepticism that was in Emily's tone, Casey smiled, "Yeah, he did."

Casey inwardly groaned. One lie seemed to be turning into another, and she wasn't a good liar. When would it all come down? When it did, Casey was pretty sure the force would knock her senseless.

"Derek and I already tried the dating thing and it didn't work, remember?"

"Yeah, but if I were you, I'd definitely give him another chance." Yet another lie- if Casey was in Emily's shoes, she'd punch her best friend in the face and go ask Trevor out.

Casey was spared further lies as Derek walked across the hall, glancing in the direction of her locker as he went. She smiled at Emily, as if to tell her that Derek walked past just to see her.

"I'll give him a day," Emily relented, and Casey felt an enormous weight drop from her shoulders.

Emily waited for Casey when the warning bell rang and students started to head off to classes. "I'll just be a second," Casey said, "you go ahead."

With one last questioning glance, Emily disappeared into the sea of people, leaving Casey to the relative peace of her locker. Casey stuck her head into her locker and took a deep, calming breath. It was a technique that Paul had suggested for stressful situations, but all it did was make Casey wrinkle her nose as she smelt someone's gym clothes.

Sighing deeply, she hefted her backpack over one shoulder and took out all of the books she didn't need for her next few classes. Out went Anatomy, Government, and the History of Punk Music. Her eyes lingered on the Punk Bible, why did she still have that in her bag? She'd read it cover-to-cover two times, and nearly memorized the section on Mick Jones and all of his musical endeavors.

Still rifling through her bag, she pulled out a few CDs. Popping one into the portable CD player in her bag, she slipped the headphones over her ears before closing her locker and walking to class.

When Casey was still trying to win the bet, she'd sold some of her old CDs on the internet so that she could buy some of the CDs on her list from the same website. Yes, she'd made a list of all of the music that she needed to buy. The Clash washer first priority, but many other bands filled out the list. This had been stage two of her plan: to familiarize herself with punk music to the extent that she and Trevor could have intellectual conversations about the underlying purposes of the music.

Thumbing the buttons on the player, Casey picked up where she'd left off before the bet blew up. It was Big Audio Dynamite II, Mick's project after The Clash. Mick Jones was a priority in her listening for the simple reason that Trevor liked him. This CD had a fun name, "Kool-Aid," so Casey had given it a try. The corners of her mouth upturned a bit as she listened, somehow this music calmed her in a way breathing exercises couldn't. She could almost ignore the stares sent her way as she breezed down the hallway.

With a minute before class began, Casey came to a dead halt in a busy intersection next to her classroom. Her eyes widened, but she didn't care how stupid she looked. She was staring straight ahead at absolutely nothing. Most of the people staring at her were the popular kids, the ones that Casey had wanted so desperately to fit in with when she first came to this school. It was unfair how they were judging her, just because she wasn't wearing what the rest of them were.

These were the people who she'd wanted to be just like. This was the type of person she'd been at her old school. How could she have been so cruel? It's easy to consider the feelings of those under the microscope once you've been under, but she hadn't known how insensitive she'd been. If she had, wouldn't she have changed? Or would she have valued her social status too much to step down from her pedestal? She didn't know. Before, it hadn't seemed so wrong just to look at someone. Now Casey wasn't quite sure whether she should take offence at it or not.

_Live for yourself _

_Today or tomorrow _

_Look after your health _

_Forget all your sorrows_

It was a small wonder that Trevor had blown her off the first time she tried to talk to him. She'd been a step away from the crowd who was now judging her; she had wanted the power to judge. If Casey were someone else, she didn't think that she would talk to herself either.

Her music was still playing when she walked into her first class, but she turned it off immediately. Even though the teacher was a cool one, and he wouldn't care, she'd never thought to do anything beside study in school. As she was apt to do, Casey was staring straight ahead at the blackboard by the time the tardy bell rang, pencil poised to take notes.

"Good morning and happy Friday!" her teacher proclaimed, smiling at his students. He was a new teacher, fresh out of college, and still wanted to be the friend of all his students. "Now, if you'd turn in your homework, we'll take it easy today. Just a quick review on Russian government and I'm through with you all."

Casey paled- they had homework? How could she not have done her homework? She blinked hard, hoping that the world would slide in to better focus once she did so. It didn't. Why had she obsessed over Trevor all night?

"Miss MacDonald, are you feeling alright?" the teacher was talking to her, his face concerned for one of his favorite students.

"No, no I'm not," Casey responded automatically. "I think I'm going to be sick and-"

The teacher cut her off, "take your books and yourself down to the nurse's office. I'll have Derek bring you your homework, he has my class next period."

Nodding quickly, Casey grabbed her book and purse and walked out of the room at a rapid pace, holding her stomach. As soon as she rounded the corner, however, her hands flew from her stomach to her head. She slumped down against the wall and rested her head on her knees, trying to get a sense of sturdiness again.

There was nothing physically wrong with Casey, but she was certain that something was horribly, horribly wrong. First she'd lied to Emily and then to her teacher. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she muttered under her breath. She had dressed like a stupid moron, listened to stupid music that stupid Trevor liked, and forgotten to do her stupid homework. And as if all of that wasn't enough, now she was talking to herself.

Casey leaned her head against the wall and began to think; she needed a way to weasel out of that last lie. Of course, the obvious, morally correct answer was right around the corner- literally. All she had to do was go confess that she hadn't done the homework, take an F, and get on with her life. But failure was not an option for Casey MacDonald, and therefore she needed a better plan.

_Think like Derek_, Casey told herself, trying to get into the twisted mind of her stepbrother. She thought back to every sticky situation that Derek had gotten himself into, but still couldn't figure out what she could do in this particular circumstance. Her hands clenched into loose fists as she heard the hum of the pipes in the wall behind her; that was her problem, why she couldn't think. Who in the world could think with that awful noise interrupting them?

Pulling her headphones out of her purse, she skipped back to the track that she had been listening to and slipped the buds into her ears. Now she could think… what would Derek do? _I could go to the nurse's office and collapse from a "heat stroke," but how could I fake the symptoms? Maybe if I went into that boiler room and stood next to the… no. Or maybe… urgh, this song is no better now than it was before. What's with the condemning today?_

_I know a way_  
_Of sipping the truth  
Go back to the days  
Before your youth_

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head._Okay, so I could- _

Casey opened a cautious eye as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Upon seeing who it was she quickly shut it again, wishing she'd never looked in the first place. _Cover story, cover story… oh God, I'm so dead. No, I'll be fine, I just became disoriented on the way to the nurse's office. It's not even a lie! Well, it sort of is, but not really, and it's not like they're going to check the security cameras. Are they?!_

Her eyes now flew open and she yanked out her headphones.

"Casey? Are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah, I just had to stop on the way to the nurse's office." Finally, the truth! Casey would have smiled, but this was no circumstance for that.

"Why were you going there? Are you sick?"

"No, I forgot to do a homework assignment…" she trailed off, sure that she had gotten her point across, and pleased with herself for telling the truth again. Maybe those two lies had been a fluke; they had to have been.

"_You _forgot to do a homework assignment?" Trevor sounded skeptical.

"I was talking to Emily late last night," Casey replied, trying to gage his reaction.

Trevor didn't disappoint her. "Oh," he said flatly, obviously not wanting to talk about it.

"I'm really sorry," Casey said. This could be a truth, depending on how it was viewed. On one hand, she was enormously pleased that Emily had turned Trevor down. On the other, she was ashamed of herself for lying.

"Are you?" he asked absentmindedly.

How Casey would have loved to know what he was thinking; he could either be referring to the fact that she had liked him before and possibly still did now, or she was being paranoid and he was wistfully thinking of Emily. Then she remembered: she only had a day until Emily would go after Trevor. What a mess this all was turning out to be.

"I am," she confirmed, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger nervously.

"Complete with sympathy clothes, I see," he observed, and Casey colored as she looked down at her wardrobe selection.

"Yeah, I really don't know why I wore this today. Hey, why are you in the hallway? Don't you have class?" Casey was pleased with herself; she had just managed to turn the tables on him.

"I have a partial absence right now," he replied, "I normally just study in the library."

And there went the upper hand. Now wringing her hands nervously, Casey asked him.

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight."

_I wish I couldve seen you  
When you could run wild  
I wouldve liked to know you  
As an innocent child  
Innocent child  
_


End file.
